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so sleep together tonight
Hello there, a lover of purple,music, dance and taiwanese, korean drama love shows plus jap anime a dramatic person who always dream too much about fantasy and have a wide imagination on alot of things, both good and bad!! a hyperactive person who likes to jump about and cannot stay in a place for long oh boy, i love you :D 私はいつも、ねえ明興があなたを愛し together from 17th june 2008, on a tuesday morning |
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affiliates
Best Of Best Friends^^
Agnes<333 Xin Xin<333 Manddyy<333 Manddyy<333's tumblr Gwendolyn<333 Cassandra<333 LiLiang<333 Joanne<333 Nicole<333 Sarah aka salsa<333 Best Friends ^^ Boon Teck Dinika MangTeng Yue Qin School Friends =) Eugenia Huai Ao Joash Nigel QiaoTing Regina Vanessa YiWei Juniors =) Heather Li Joo Mei Qin Nataling Ruiyi TanLing Tricia XueTing Yu Xian Seniors =) Cherie aka childish gal Gerald Primary School Friends =) Alan KaiYan Yu Ting YueYing friend friend friend friend archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
busy busy day
 one day we will hv it like this..cant believe i ran after the bus early in the morning tiring~ contacted laogong as usual! omg! so many things nv do lo! was in such a rush plus nv study for test X.X morning tat time told ah mun abt it but im glad its over le! stay happy jiu can le! time will heal! somemore u hv us! XD mornign duty as usual was worried for him.. he gettin to dislike ___ more le.. haiz.. school was tiring today wanted to slp the whole day barely even climbed out of bed somemore today until 3pm -.- NICOLE!!!GET WELL SOON K^^ today the whole day was worried for MANDY and LAOGONG was hoping tat i did wat i can to be able to be there for them.. but sometimes i really dun feel tat i help much... did all tat i could... hope its enough... but i noe i can do more, expecially for laogong want to be there for him so tat he wont be alone tats wat im aiming to do for now^^ To MANDY omg! so long nv tok to u for so long!! haha!! was damn fun chatting with Agnes, Jas and u today at mac! LOL till can cry jas even cried le lo!! XD drow the bad things as far away as to North Pole there where the Santa can help u change to gd things and give u as x'mas present it might take long but its will be worth letting it go and u r getting new gd things!^^ i will be ur santa! XD need my shoulder, find me k! and aiyo! no waste of sms la! its worth the msges la!! anyhow say^^ tats wat BESTBESTFRIENDS are for ar!! no more quarrels or misunderstanding GD TO HV U BCK MY BESTBESTFRIEND!^^ LOVE YOU TO DEATH TOO!! <333 To LAOGONG sometimes i feel tat left u alone too much.. u think so ma? say real de anyway i really hope tat nth happens u really gt me worried there just hope everything is really alright(praying~) i will be there no matter wat k dun leave me alone and i promise i wont too..!! love u lots lots!!!!!!!!!!<333333333333333333333333333 today scared me sia fell asleep at laogong house when i promise to find Mandy laogong managed to wake me up den i realised Mandy was llike crying over for more den 1 hr le faster dashed bck to sch heimun and cass tagged along! was like damn damn tired lo~ but was worried for mandy lucky after tat she was ok after awhile jiu sit at there tok abt it before headed to bm mac with jas,agnes and mandy we alr started toking abt other random things like sparkC camp le toked until keep laughing and laughing lo!! noe siao liao XD but was just happy tat mandy was able to cheer up bck its not fake mask leh, real smile XD came to a conclusion(something like tat) he wasnt worthy at all for any girls i noe we say until like tat like all his fault but not trying to push the blame all to him just wish tat he could be more responsible to Mandy lo haiz... disappointed to find out wat kind of person he is.. who cares anyway all of us are thru with it le right mandy? Definately Will Last Long With Laogong de^^ tats wat i been planning to do with him all the while^^ love laogong so so so muchhh...!!!!
bck in sch
 random picsu bring sunshine to me... u shine so bright.. replied of tags
finally gt bck to sch after two days of rest omg didnt noe i missed so much of lesson hv to catch up soon nth much happen today just didnt feel in place for some reason oh ya i almost forgot! HAPPY 3RD YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO JASMINE AND JIAWEN
the main reason y i want to blog today is to reply ur post u r not saying mean words to hurt me after all they are the truth abt me i seen myself too and i know wat im like so really dun need to apologise.. its mine fault not urs or the other three.. been trying to improve on myself but just dun hv much improvement hmm.. wondering is quiting school a bad idea to think abt....? not becoz of him or anything tat happen in sch actually hv.. not laogong but just feel very empty.. maybe friends? just suddenly gt a little tired from studying and just want to rest for a very long time.. but just a thought...maybe im not as happy as i think i am.. around him and everybody else.. people around me noe tat i will think too much.. dun be surprise tat i can think abt world destruction.. ok enough of all these crazy toking my mind hv gone to far in the fantasy XD switching bck to reality btr stop all these emoing or ltr people like nic and xinxin come say me le XP im asking too much from everyone.. being selfish..time to put my hopes lower on everyone
apologies...
reported sick today..
first time.. nv report sick before everytime if really sick will stick thru the whole day of sch but 2day just couldnt but physically and mentally needs me to go bck home... cant even take it during eng asked liang pei me go toilet.. thanx liang for keeping me company and listening to wat i was saying noe tat i wasnt being a gd friend... but u were always there for me, thanx! and thanx to jas for accompany to report sick & nic for caring for me^^ and Vanessa for chatting with me online^^ and aso not to forget laogong for chatting with me till now=) i been thinking is this all the friends hv tat actually care.. or is there lesser... had enough of quarrels.. can we stop.. my moods r always up and down.. managed to report sick despite not hving fever mum allowed me to head bck home alone take a damn long and slow walk to inter and took a bus home wanted to stop to eat mac breakfast since long long time nv eat le but den no appetite.. maybe im gg to do the same thing again... not eating...there's just too much things on my mind.. on the way bck keep msging laogong..although not everything is gd.. taken a new word in today.. alone... im not saying im alone in the world im so afraid of being alone rather den dying.. tats y i nv like silence.. becoz silence always make me feel alone.. and especially just now when i head bck home alone i see everyone tat makes me so unfamiliar with.. really make me feel scared.. am i asking too much from everyone..? read le.. knew le.. u shld noe tat this is for you ba.. i understand tat all of u r saying these.. i noe u aso hv.. same as me.. but u r handling ur time way btr den me.. i noe u guys r alr pissed off abt it le.. just now u all nv say.. we are drifting apart this we all can see... to all and everyone, im drifting apart from u all this i dun disagree.. i noe recently i hvent stay bcked sch like last time i did plus im not sticking to u all when its recess or sort and im taking u guys for granted i spare a tot for all four of u.. but no matter how much i try i nv succceed.. i knew tat u will agree to wat she said.. i dun disagree to tat.. u dun need to pretend nth happen coz no matter how much u pretend ur body will show me tat u actually mind.. i knew these kind of things will happen i predicted it.. but there was nth much i can control.. i want to be with u guys and i aso want to be with him.. whenever im with him, i will not hv time to be with u all.. whenever im with u all, i will not hv time with him.. either way it will hurt someone... i noe im not a gd friend.. and u no need to apologies coz the only one tat make u all sad is me... sry.. i cant manage my own time.. i lost control of all things.. sry.. im not wat u expected at all.. i cant prove u wrong coz i cant even prove to myself wat am i doing i can only say tat u guys still treasure to me so much but i dun think i showed it the correct way and i expected too much from u all le.. i noe its ridicous saying all these.. u all can hate me le.. went out le^^
 WOOHOO!!
finally gt to went out of his house today! XD especially today rain sia! ^^ hehe! he still decided to go out and watch movie! after all its our 2nd month!! ^^ reach his house abt 12plus like tat we slept late last night! and laogong ps scared u last night! went to watch Money Not Enough 2 abit rush down to vivo to watch end up get the 2nd row from front still went to watch anyway ^^ was raining lo and laogong still come out leh so of coz must watch ar^^ was exactly as funny as i tot but was touching lo most of touchy scenes laogong was laughing lo coz he thinks the crying scene abit fake so keep laughing only when see me cry den stop XD ^^ was holding on to each other most of the time BEST MOVIE EXPERIENCE EVER <3333333 oh ya suay suay before the movie starts there was a trailer on a ghost movie scared the hell out of me lo dun even dare to look keep looking at laogong who is watching the trailer hear screaming i feel like screaming too they scream i more scared sia T_T lucky laogong was there for me keep holding on to his hand! damn weak when i come to this kind of thing... XP saw quite some shows tat we wanted to watch next time^^ when movie finally over decided to go home and rest for awhile did really rest lo most of the time spent was sleeping! took damn lots of pics but jsut decided to post one XP did had a weird quarrel tat let laogong angry at me.. didnt noe the reason... so left his house crying.. but of coz everything is fine le^^ we nv quarrel long XP but u noe scared the hell out of me again.. saw a dead bird just around the lift lobby there.. second time le.. wonder wat it means sia.. scared me till i cry... hope it means nth..! had such a wonderful day^^ my wonderful 2nd month is completed!! except i forgot to buy 2nd month present will be buying soon tou tou de qu mai XD although laogong alr noe wat i want to buy! somemore gt bluster on my toe there for wearing high heels today shld hv wear sockings.. abit pain T_T but will get over it! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY^^ laogong love u forever n ever!! <3333 2nd month together^^
 HAPPY 2ND MONTH TOGETHER^^ our second month le ^^ laogong wo ai ni <333 hehe^^ been staying up just to say this XD now midnight ltr gg out with him^^ cant wait till morning be loving u forever n ever!! still chatting with him on the phone XP gt the mood to blog...
finally gt some mood to blog le well coz today not much in a gd mood dun tok abt today first
MON 11/08
FINALLY GOT TO MEET AGNES AND XINXIN^^ and of coz they gt their presents from jap^^ omg, great changes to AGNESANG XD she went reborn her hair i dun even know sia shld hv snapshot her! she keep snapshot me -.- cute sia ask me meet at 12pm at bm library end up both of them so late den me sia leave me alone in the library T_T they two aso cute de lo nv tell me they gg to study sia nv bring a single material to go study end up only gossip XD even saw jasmine, christabel and kelvin sia mandy was supposed to be there but den dunnoe where she go end up headed to mcdonald and chitchat to 3pm before i went to find laogong again^^ today 15/08 today arent in one of the best mood.. i really hv to apologise to my friends in GB wasnt in such a gd mood at times.. some strange tots always get in my head somehow plus not very happy in gb today too just cant get use to it...everything tat needs to be.. arent tat way...\ its btr if i just pretend not to see or noe... i fake mask is not wat i want ..neither a fake smile.. it hurts laogong didnt pei me go sch today T_T but he did came after recess as late, of coz and laogong, ps not very happy so nv smile to u let u think tat i was angry with u, ps!! was not very happy with drills as usual want to teach them wat i noe but the discipline is always not there really getting on my nerves...haiizz.. pass thru gb within mins.. so it seems like cant believe tears will fall by itself.. den was MT had test tat was damn long! and suay siao no correction tape le -.- managed to get thru the test without much trouble after sch just finished up my prefect reflection with the help of Chibit Agnes ^^ i rmb to repay u de XP and sort of pei laogong to do chem test kk one of the most sian things tat happened today was tat laogong say one of his friends asked him whether is it he stead with ____ -.-... not expecting tat to be heard and aso hving his friends shout over to my class there say "_____,mx like you" isnt one of the best thing either both ___ isnt my name.. diff names so ya jealous and was moody..coz i noe im not as gd as u two.. but everything was fine after tat coz i noe its not he wanted de ar^^ is his friends disiao spend rest of the day at his house, resting before heading bck home early just another two more days to our 2nd motnh^^ love you lots!
not blogging
okok!just wanted to post this to say i wont be blogging for awhile here becoz first thing: lazy second thing: busy third thing: dun feel like blogging so ya people try not to ask me to update k XP kk signing out! byebye! i just cant believe it..
 can u hear me shouting i love you now..?today is like -.- coz today quarrel with laogong the most la and somemore first time scream at him so ya its -.- but of coz after tat was ^^ le always love him no matter wat de^^ coz he is forever my laogong! was another tiring and frustrating day.. plus another moody day cant believe tat tat was the secret..i hoped at tat time i guess wrongly but guess i cant deny the fact rite... frustrated coz we two quarrel la tiring coz damn long day had a final rehearsal for ndp at 4pm with nic so like damn long day somemore today hv chem and ss test.. stress i just want to hv a break from sch sometimes... feel like not coming sch tmr.. really tired sia.. I WANT A BREAK!! haha! XD too over le!! nth much really happen today beside hving to change our sitting arrangement in the morning lucky still can see him XP feels weird to sit so "in" this time sec1 and 2 de shi hua always more "out" de need time to get use to it actually i nv mention it but when i guess it.. i feel my heart pain again..like tat time i heard he like qt.. its the same feeling.. plus damn lot of heat escape from my body.. and all i wanted to do is cry..but i cant coz i dun want to hurt mandy.. so hv to live on without regreting..
till now i hv to let go no matter how much pain it needs for me to handle coz mandy, you r the one meant for him tat is srsly so much btr den me.. coz all i do is hurt him..now i noe its not becoz he scared of relationship and love tats y he dun want give me a chance.. rather is coz he liked u but didnt noe himself.. i dun blame no one but just myself for being the fool of not treating him well.. no worries now le.. i will let go for the sake of mandy, him and laogong..because i shld hv long ago.. plus im really fine very fine with the fact tat mandy like him coz im all along fine with her being around him, no matter as friend, brother or bgr.. stay happy both of u.. get together soon the fear...
today was tiring...had a full day of sch plus ndp rehearsal and as usual there are alot of tests omg strting tmr we changing the class position sia T_T no more sitting away from the ally roll le went to see the arrangement from sec1s there(where we shld be sitting) it will be 3N1, 3N2,3T1,3T2,3E1,3E2 and 3E3 so means 3E3 will be sitting at the ally there and im two classes away from him is abt the same la hope its still easier from me to see him since its like only two classes away pls.. let me still be able to see him XP english period srsly almost slept... not tired de lo but cher sometimes make it sleepy somemore there are 4 pro people cant believe they can walk over during class sia! XD suan ur all pro^^ had another group work thingy stupid la grp with joash again -.- always disturb not scared sia!! as stupid as during pri sch keep toking abt pri sch things like how anvar came in class with the basketball tie around his stomach there with his prefect tie -.- dotz rite den came in class say wat im pregnant.. im pregnant!! it like DAMN funny!! after tat the bball dropped den he say dun step on my baby dun step on my baby XD funny sia! but all its in the past le ar rather stay in the present coz this is wat i want to treasure the present and the future(with you)^^ joash neo dun u dare bully me le hor!! and jasmine ar more girlish abit la use ruler hit joash till gt blood next time dun come near me le la! LOL XD phys test is like whole two period sia first test : reflection (20mins) second test : refraction (30 mins) hope this time can really pass think so far nv even pass phy test before mr chua nv take the class is relief cher, dunnoe where he go right after test jiu recess le went to find laogong for recess ^^ ok here i really want to say SRY to ah mun, ah gwen, mandy and cass i noe tat i ps u all during recess u all not tat happy even though ah mun gt like say u come bck le ar but i noe u guys still mind abit.. so sry!! didnt even tell u before i left off sry!! hope u guys forgive!! and stupid la the photocopyer in library spoil cant photocopy maths T_T maths is busy busy busy so many things to do and copy XP MT was ok la.. still had to take test after sch coz i "absent" from class on fri cant believe tat the lowest is 4 marks wondering who.. lucky ting xie is postpone to thurs!! and FT period is free^^ coz mr lee dunnoe y aso nv come class so most of the time using hp, taking photo and listening music after sch went to laogong's house to rest for awhile but den had a "fight" along the way so like nv talked all the way but its ok le^^ aso dun think we bear to be angry or sad with each other for too long things always get settled de after tat still need to rush bck to sch for ndp rehearsal waa!! hot again sia! but at least gt nic pei me!! haha nicole kk la understand wat u say abt how i dun eat le la will try to eat again le! so dun scold me le k^^ here's a small thank you to alan yeo for caring^^ everything's fine le gd luck for ur common test laogong thanx for forgiving me everytime u alr very very gd to me le^^ love you always always!! dun get misunderstanding le la.. i dun want argue anymore le u aso dun want rite.. from now on promise me u will tell me everything promise k^^ these few days.. nightmare of those things.. alr hv three le.. i hope its really not all true... just rmbing.. sometimes really let me feel tat kind of fear.. laogong.. only hv u by my side den i wont hv those nightmare le ^^ love you! and my appetite suddenly went wrong.. since the five days nv eat proper meal almost everything i eat from the first day i eat a proper meal i been hving vomiting feeling.. cant even eat finish a full meal will suddenly lost my appetite for the whole day... dunnoe wat's wrong.. haiz.. everything's all wrong...
look at the time nowim still awake im tired but dun feel like sleeping coz things happen and i just cant accept it... i wanted to tell u so much wat i was thinking but first thing i dunnoe how to open my mouth to say.. second thing i dun think i gt a chance lastly.. my heart ache too much for me to say anything... y i always dun get y my relationship hv the same problem trust.. is my own hand and mouth tat cause this problem de ba i dun blame myself but when u become like tat i really will.. i not threatening or watso ever but i really am blaming myself for cozing u to be like this... if it wasnt for the misunderstanding den it would not hv became like this.. and i would not hv cause ur pain.. i can only secretly cry over it now.. do not want to hurt u anymore le.. hearing u change.. hearing the words u said now.. my heart shattered over a thousand times again and again it hurt so much tat sometimes i can really feel tat pain on my chest like something is pressing down on it hard while someone is putting thousands of needles from inside.. even if i hv this feeling when i normally hv.. wat difference it can make.. the change i make with my own hands.. i cant even bring bck wat it was before.. i cant even make him happy and smile truly anymore can only make my heart ache even more will my heart ache till my body cant take it anymore.. will everything be btr.. how can i be btr for him.. is this all i can do.. or rather hv i bring enough pain to everyone.. maybe i shld just...disappear i want him to smile so much like before.. but i just cause him to cry every nite with the smile gone like mine.. wat hv i done.. everything's all wrong now.. dreams...
Agnes- haha kk la! dun hate 28 le k^^ coz of ur birthday i dun hate it k XP last nite had a nitemare to say... had ghosts inside the dream but the ending of the dream was weird.. ending was with laogong but in the beginning of the dream was with my friends including xinxin sia weird.... in the dream abit scared.. but after tat was ok.. im hving mixed feeling now.. i dunnoe wat the hell am i thinking now y am i always thinking so much abt things.. and tat i cant always say out wat i want to say and wat im thinking abt majority of the time.... when it comes to u.. i always think abt how to just make things happy for u nv wanting to say wat is wrong or rather wat can hurt u every single thing tat u do or dun do can hai wo think so much dunnoe y i can only cry and cry over things i really dunnoe wat to do now... the disappointment i coz u... is more than wat i expected and i cant torelate not being gd to u... wat can i do to make u happy... i always dream of doing so.. but cant really make it happen.. now i can think of one song tat can really tell how i feel to u 對不起 by Wang Zi from The Legend of Brown Sugar Chivalries noe this song ba.. 请你原谅我不懂逗你开心 请你原谅我不懂听你的心 回想着过去 我学着让你更安心 别赌气 别任性 别放弃 请你相信我 我会更加珍惜 请你相信我 我会呵护着你 this are really wat i want to say... love u so so so much.....!!! my stubborness...
y always my stubborness hv to cause so much trouble..or rather so much sadness.. to both u and me.. laogong really _ _ _.. always the basic things i cant do well.. somemore always dun listen to wat u say or rather always dun do wat u say _ _ _ i swear tat this thing will not happen again if it ever does.. just scold me can... i promise tat from now on i wont nv do things that u dun want me to do like apologising or blaming myself i really promise and i swear to trust u with all my heart and life.. no doubts or watso ever le i swear..! today was like one big rush here and there firstly wake up aroun 935 in the morning so as to go shao mu for my grandpa so didnt manage to attend GB in the morning everything was rush sia bought laptop along with me but i couldnt use the internet instead watched rolling love hvent watch finish XP things ok with my mum le.. but still wont rely on her to protect me anymore..neither trust her.. so strted to eat ^^ did u noe i nv ate a proper meal for like 5 days or 6 hehe! strong rite kk jkjk and this time my mum drive bro and me down all the way to chua chu kang OMG lo tot we cant make it bck "alive" noe abit exagerating but nv had we been so far with just my mum's driving so ya was like 1000% SCARED sry ma! just didnt wanted to stress u tat time so nv say but of coz everything went out quite ok with my help aso la finished eveything and rush down to GB to take my drill theory test plus hv our annual meeting lo after tat went to magic box for awhile to rehearsal for the farewell party abit wat la we booked the place from 1-4pm but those people after 4pm keep coming in to like disturb damn NO privacy one lo ask them to like exit the place they ohohoh but after still come in-.- wat the hell rite aiya dun care them le la hope no next time like tat lo what can i do...
i dun even noe how to communicate with you le..our relationship have turn strange...like strangers... everything started tat night.. cant believe tat we will hv this day.. i dun even feel like going home anymore.. it feels so strange now... i guess tat on my birthday.. i celebrate my own btr ba dun need u to skip ur classes or work le every single word i hear now relate back to what you say tat night.. i will always rmb... i dun want anything from u le.. i want to return everything to u... the things i want, i will get it with my own hands now wont rely on u le coz once the people i rely on hv alr fallen and will nv come bck dun feel like relying on anyone le u want me to change so here i am dun u regret it..again... i dun hate you.. really i dun.. i just dislike the family now.. the only reason y i smile now is coz of laogong and my friends if i dun hv them.. my smile would hv long gone... i dun want to make them moody like i am.... you can dun care abt me le... laogong.. really thanx for not leaving me... u r really the one i can always rely on love you forever and ever... thanx for protecting me^^ and sry for the things i made u angry! thanx for being there^^ did catering service for the GOH and VIPs from Singapore Poly along with 9 trusty gb gals! had so much fun sia!!^^ although of coz need to wear full uni which is like HOT HOT HOT sweating even in air condition room XD managed to skip like two period of MT and half day of GB but missed my CL test T_T need to retest sia... had fun with wei xin aso^^ we gt our little secret of our own=) toked to xueting and shanice too hope everything goes well.. |
