reported sick today..
first time..
nv report sick before
everytime if really sick will stick thru the whole day of sch
but 2day just couldnt
but physically and mentally needs me to go bck home...
cant even take it during eng
asked liang pei me go toilet..
thanx liang for keeping me company and listening to wat i was saying
noe tat i wasnt being a gd friend... but u were always there for me, thanx!
and thanx to jas for accompany to report sick & nic for caring for me^^
and Vanessa for chatting with me online^^
and aso not to forget laogong for chatting with me till now=)
i been thinking is this all the friends hv tat actually care.. or is there lesser...
had enough of quarrels.. can we stop.. my moods r always up and down..


managed to report sick despite not hving fever
mum allowed me to head bck home alone
take a damn long and slow walk to inter
and took a bus home
wanted to stop to eat mac breakfast
since long long time nv eat le
but den no appetite..
maybe im gg to do the same thing again...
not eating...there's just too much things on my mind..
on the way bck keep msging laogong..although not everything is gd..
taken a new word in today..
alone...
im not saying im alone in the world
im so afraid of being alone rather den dying..
tats y i nv like silence.. becoz silence always make me feel alone..
and especially just now when i head bck home alone
i see everyone tat makes me so unfamiliar with.. really make me feel scared..
am i asking too much from everyone..?


read le.. knew le..
u shld noe tat this is for you ba..
i understand tat all of u r saying these..
i noe u aso hv.. same as me..
but u r handling ur time way btr den me..
i noe u guys r alr pissed off abt it le..
just now u all nv say..
we are drifting apart this we all can see...
to all and everyone, im drifting apart from u all
this i dun disagree..
i noe recently i hvent stay bcked sch like last time i did
plus im not sticking to u all when its recess or sort
and im taking u guys for granted
i spare a tot for all four of u..
but no matter how much i try
i nv succceed..
i knew tat u will agree to wat she said..
i dun disagree to tat.. u dun need to pretend nth happen
coz no matter how much u pretend
ur body will show me tat u actually mind..
i knew these kind of things will happen
i predicted it.. but there was nth much i can control..
i want to be with u guys and i aso want to be with him..
whenever im with him, i will not hv time to be with u all..
whenever im with u all, i will not hv time with him..
either way it will hurt someone...
i noe im not a gd friend..
and u no need to apologies
coz the only one tat make u all sad is me...
sry..
i cant manage my own time..
i lost control of all things..
sry.. im not wat u expected at all..
i cant prove u wrong
coz i cant even prove to myself wat am i doing
i can only say tat u guys still treasure to me so much
but i dun think i showed it the correct way
and i expected too much from u all le..
i noe its ridicous saying all these..
u all can hate me le..